Miami
scott lowry

Rhode Shox

When Kebo comes knockin' ya better answer the freakin' door

After months of swapping stories about where hang and what to check out hereafter called "the short list"- in cities across North America, the Hush Box Highness mandated that I share my take with the 'Boxer Nation. I don't make it a habit to mess with Brothers from Texas, especially when they are as well dress as Kebo, so I kindly obliged

It's a short hop from Hartsfield but my recent run through Miami Beach made me feel worlds away. Some where around the Mediterranean to be exact. Miami Beach is the American Rivera; the sensual scale of sea and sky, "under wear" weather, and nightlife scene that's doesn't come up for air. It reminds me of the all night escapades of Rimini, Italy, only with better weather. At times, I was surround by so many Europeans I was wondering where I had left my passport. Nowhere else in the U.S. are you a foreigner in your own country like you are in Miami. You can't stay in the United States and go further "away" from home.

Two Eggs Scrambled and a Kettle One Martini

Miami Beach is truly a late night town. Try getting 11 PM dinner seating at B.E.D, Tantra, or Pearl- you better have some inside juice if you are calling on short notice they are consistent booked well past that hour. The clubs and lounges don't kick until 1:00 AM, and even then the crowds ebb and flow -in and out like the tides of Biscayne Bay-everybody running from place to place trying to find the magic crowd until around 3AM when the scene finally settles in for the run to sunrise.

Oscar G. of Funky Green Dogs told me that his Saturday booking at the downtown Miami mega club Space starts with a set in the main room from midnight until 5 AM. He then retires to one of the chill out lounges for a 6 9 AM set. The courtyard patio at the club finally shuts down around 2 PM Sunday afternoon·THAT crowd must be a pretty sight. The neighboring club Fuel offers free drinks to anyone willing to stick around from 5 6 AM. I didn't make it to happy hour but it did give me a great idea for a new club. It will feature a hospital theme and be called Dialysis.

The Short List

Got word from one of my moles that the only action on Tuesday night was at Lola (247 23 Street), and followed instructions to get there early a solid plan of attack for any trendy establishment. A seedy bar/lounge way off the strip no casual customers and one of those places you don't want to see in the daylight hours. By midnight the place was alive and getting "sloppy". Great mix of locals vying for "on the bar" dancing privileges and Europeans trying to make sense of the DJ's clever mix of 80's new wave nuggets. Taken by the tantalizing tonic of sleaze and sex appeal, the krewe and I closed the place down.

Miami has a specific design look all to itself. Call it "Don't Blink Design", as establishments change owners and environments overnight. Best typified by W-6 Lounge (619 Washington), a smart and sexy lounge on Washington and 6th. In the running with Red and Krave for "Lounge of the Moment" status -that's gotta be the kiss of death in a scene like Miami Beach- this club uses form, color, Ikea, and Pier One to create a million dollar look. Fernando Fuentes (aka DJ Cue) was pumpin' some seriously sexy Latin House on Friday night.

Chicago based Crobar (1445 Washington) turns the house over the promoters of Backdoor Bambi on Sunday nights. The krewe and I stumbled in only to find the place rammed to the rafters with the finest hotties South Beach has to offer. Miami Beach mondo clubs don't get any better than this Triple A dŽcor, service, and crowd.

There are establishments in each city that crystallize the essence of what it's all about the people, the music, the zeitgeist and for my two drinks it's a bar called Blue (222 Espanola Way). Intimate the place might hold 150 people, no cover, and only a wait if the place is jammed to capacity -usually around 2 AM. Blue is a break from the hard-core "look at me" vibe that dominates The Beach. People go there to chat it up, down a few and shake ass to the monster beat. The krewe and I frequented Blue often and it never failed in delivering a diverse, hard drinkin', hard dancin' crowd. My kinda place.

"Hi My name is Greg and I'll be your server tonight"

The Miami Beach dining scene is establishing some credibility as of late but ya better get used to the $35 dollar entrŽe, it is tourist country, after all. This would be fine if half the waitrons in South Beach were schooled on tableside manners. At Touch, I was convinced our waitrons last gig was at the Outback Steak House in Aventura Beach. Strike that I've eaten in that Outback and the service was better.

A most unique Miami Beach dining experience can be had in B.E.D. (929 Washington). A dozen elevated, King-sized futons shrouded in white chiffon line the walls, where all the beautiful peeps lay around and eat off a large Indian style tray. It doesn't get more SoBe that that. Our waitron Brigitte hailed from outside of Paris. Needless to say, her tableside err, bedside manner, was quite elegant.

Bambu (1661 Meridian Ave.) delivers top shelf Sushi and fusion Japanese, but your gonna pay the price. Sushi dinner for two with a bottle of wine ran $150. The monied set was well represented on the eve that the Shooter and I check in for a deuce the valet stalls were chock full o' "off the show floor" foreign autos.

The scene at the Delano (1685 Collins) is still the epicenter of Miami Beach. On my last night in South Beach I found great pleasure in hiding back at the poolside bar near the end of the compound, arms length away from the glitterati of the lobby bar and the Blue Door. It's a hypnotic environment - Phillippe Starck's levitating pool, the chiffon gently wafting around the courtyard. I just wanna know who is chillin' in the $2500 a night bungalows.